Sometimes we do not act for the sake of what is right, but rather for the fact that it is our life and we have the freedom to do exactly as we choose. “Carpe Diem” is not a license to live irresponsibly, but to fill life with color and not get caught in the minutia of what is right and balanced within the grey matter. The beauty of life as music is that there are major and minor chords, and each can drive us and inspire us in different ways. To knowingly suffer may have purpose, but to knowingly risk another to suffer can be called many negative things. However, there is a peace in accepting that you can be all of those things if you choose, because it is your life, and you do not always have to be good. I may be irresponsible at times, I may be without boundaries, and I may sometimes be the bad guy. However, I do not want to live my life pretending that I am driven by being good and righteous, because that is not who I am. However, I take ownership of the external perception, I take ownership of the consequence, I take ownership of at times risking negatively affecting other people’s lives, because I have contentment knowing that I do the opposite as well. I do not mean to say that one justifies the other, and I am not writing to appease my audience, but rather myself. In what I can accept as satisfaction with myself, I am very accepting of the fact that I mainly do much good for most, I step above and beyond for most, I give a tremendous amount of love and care, and I put a lot of thought and analysis into everything. However, I absolutely choose to be bad at times. I do it knowingly, and I do it purposefully. I have chosen it in the past, and I gratefully and willingly accept the self-producing hell that comes from it. Yet, it is my choice, and it is mine, and it is fulfilling. I know my boundaries of action in terms of “good” and “evil”. I am satisfied with them–and within that I am happy.
http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Good-Evil-Prelude-Philosophy/dp/0679724656
One day you find something surprising. When somebody insults you, you can agree with it–and accept it. Or you can think about it, consider it, and reject it–but, you don’t have to counter attack. You can accept you are something of that insult. Even more beautiful, is you can decide to keep it, or use it to motivate you to change. It is your choice.
