Drifting from greedy to seedy,
distant to suddenly needy.
Undulating between want and disgust
Between good principles and undeviating lust.
I can’t maintain a solid relationship with these feelings
But choosing what is safe and right has never been an option
Proceed at will, but do so with extreme caution.
It’s not that I am so upset with the risk,
with the rebound, withdraw, craving, or depression
but more that I simply can’t actualize the connection.
I know the paths, what’s best, what’s the debt and cost
Exploring the options to relieve lends my heart to exhaust
I don’t belong, I can’t take away the pictures I saw
Playing my songs over their record, and I’ve never met her
The anxiety, the defeat, trying to sit in a taken seat.
I can’t find simplicity in this, trying to find a means to resist
there is no peace in rest, I’ve fallen victim to it
Nobody is going to save you now,
Nobody is going to make you use what you found
The answers are still unused and lying around
It’s already been done, it’s already, “point-of-no-return”
the inevitable truth, that it’s all going to burn
So let your stomach churn, with hell and self loathing
when have you ever been accustomed to atoning
It’s really only a parade of immorality from dragging of time
the masquerade of friends’ two cents and not seeing the signs
Noting boring consequence, they don’t see the beauty of passion
only the greys of norms, but somewhere there’s a median of satisfaction.
I hope…
