Every intimate act, from holding hands to intercourse, initiates an energy transfer. Regardless of how you define your interactions, we all need that energy from others. Everybody has a comfort level with how much energy they need from others, as well as how many different people they need it from. If you surpass that level of need or variety, you start to lose yourself. I think the most fundamental building block in any friendship or relationship is having that need in common. If they are not alike, the process of compromise for the sake of keeping the unit in harmony will make one individual be self-sacrificial and the other constantly frustrated. Ultimately, this causes resentment and depression for both, which is obviously an undesirable state of mind.
I believe it is this requirement that will keep interactions positive and healthy. Actually, I don’t think relationships are necessary the way I see them; I think friendships are much healthier. A relationship is really just an unspoken agreement to protect pride and promote sloth. What is monogamy other than the act of shielding pride? Jealousness comes from pride, and pride comes from insecurity. If we are totally secure with ourselves, and we can trust the other person to be safe, then why would we care? I think that gives most people a sick feeling in their stomach because they know it will push and test their insecurities, and most people would rather be in that unspoken agreement to protect their insecurities as opposed to test them. I would venture to say that perhaps this dynamic would make for a more secure individual.
Secondly, relationships promote sloth. If you have an individual promise to be your sole source of energy, you know you never have to work for it again. However, if that promise is not there, you know you must earn it. You will work on yourself to deserve that energy, as opposed to letting yourself go because you know you are guaranteed it.
I think friendships are much more positive and stress-free. Notice, we tend to naturally keep friendships long term with individuals who share that same need for energy. Also, we don’t care who that friend spends their time with; we don’t get insecure and jealous when they are with others. We understand that our friends choose to be in our life, and so we tend to be more respectful and courteous towards our friends than our mates. If we get tired of a friend, we distance ourselves and that doesn’t end the friendship by any means. Sometimes people need their space, and wanting to create an agreement that forces an individual to give their energy when it is not natural or comfortable is being selfish, greedy, and insecure.
This is just what I have been thinking, but perhaps it’s a rationalization for my needs? Maybe my needs are wrong? Maybe I should feel guilty for this train of thought? Maybe I’m wrong…
